Retreat!

In an effort to maintain my sanity, I've returned home to New England for the holidays. Unfortunately, I brought little good news with me, although the fact that I was still alive was probably enough for my parents. I randomly decided to do a second follow-up on an interview I had about 2 months ago, remembering that this employer was not planning to hire anyone until December or January. I actually heard back from the person who interviewed me, and they haven't hired anyone yet, but she said her concern with me as a candidate was that I might be too shy to handle the pressure of dealing with clients and such. Needless to say, upon hearing that the position was still available, I quickly refuted these allegations, and purported my ability to get things done, meanwhile fabricating excuses for my apparent nervousness during the interview. So I will be going in for a second interview, guns blazing, and bomb those silly ideas out of her head, or at least put on a good enough act to convince her otherwise.

After all, that's all an interview is. The interviewee becomes an actor, and he must play the role of the person that he thinks the interviewer wants to hire. So two conditions must be met for a shot at the job, the interviewee must correctly determine the ideal candidate, and he must accurately portray that character. Failure in either of these conditions generally results in a blown opportunity. I may be acting too much like myself, and not enough like the character I'm supposed to be playing. Given my academic overanalysis of job interviewing, maybe I should revisit the acting techniques I learned during freshman year of high school. It's all about Stanislavsky's method acting and emotional memory. Maybe I can conquer my subconscious desire to not be hired using these techniques.

Anyway, I still haven't heard back from the architecture firm, even though they said they would get back to me over a week ago, and as far as I know, they never contacted any of my references. When I get back in town, I'll have to give them a second follow-up as well. And I promised my little brother a shout-out on my blog, so I'll let the b-boy in me out for a second. Wanna give props to the Bambino holdin it down in the motherland this spring, ken ya dig it? To all you heathens: Merry Christmas. It means that the month of hearing those nauseating holiday songs is almost over.

And Another One...

Remember that job at the ad firm that I really wanted? My intuitions were all too right, and I didn't even make it past the first interview. Ouch. Have you ever had that feeling where it seems like the entire world has singled you out, and is putting all its effort into making you miserable? I'm becoming well acquainted with it. This whole job search has made me incredibly bipolar. Every instance of a possibility sparks these flashes of hope in my mind, which makes rejection that much more painful. And anyone who knows me is aware of how poorly I deal with rejection.

I have one more job application pending. After that, it's back to square one. Maybe I'm going about this all wrong. Should I greet my interviewers on my knees, my eyes beginning to flood, about to break down completely? It works for little kids, and I hover somewhere around the toddler state-of-mind. I just realized how selfish this whole affair is, but my own problems come much more readily to mind than those of others. Right, back to working on my brothers' holiday gifts.

Slap in the Face

Yup, I just got one today.  A slap in the face that is, not a job.  I called in about the museum job... Yes, he'd gotten my follow-ups, and no, he's not hiring me.  Turns out he met with someone with extensive experience in just this type of thing who can "offer him things he hadn't even thought of," or something to that extent.  Plus, this person speaks Mandarin Chinese.  How am I supposed to compete with unimaginable skills and Mandarin?  This was an entry-level position with a low salary and a ton of work... if there are people with lots of experience applying for these jobs, what does that leave me?

I think I may be subconsiously preventing myself from being hired. On the surface, I am trying my hardest to find a job, but at my core, I don't want one. Actually, it's not that I don't want a job, but I don't want to wake up at 8, get on the subway, sit at a desk for 8 hours, and get home at 7, every day.  And that's what a job is.  I guess I don't understand why these job descriptions list a B.A. as a necessary qualification. One doesn't need a liberal arts education consisting of thirty-someodd classes in a variety of academic departments to sit at a desk and make spreadsheets or answer a telephone.  One would think that such a "mind-expanding" experience would be counterproductive in forming an individual streamlined for spending 40 hours a week at a desk. I know, I'm just bitter and I'm ranting. But Peter Gibbons brings up an interesting point on today's work environment from an evolutionary perspective, "Human beings were not meant to sit in little cubicles staring at computer screens all day." Okay, so he wasn't speaking in terms of evolution, but think about it that way, at least it'll give you something to talk about at dinner.

A Lucky Break, Perhaps?

Still no response from the museum... I'm going to call tomorrow and see if I can get a straight answer, which at this point looks like it will be a resounding "no". The interview at the ad firm earlier this week went okay. I think I did a good job of convincing them that I wanted the position, but a bad job of describing how I might actually go about doing it, which makes the former accomplishment null and void. Apparently they have a large applicant pool, many of whom have experience. All I have is the fact that I went to the same college as one of the main partners. But I really want the job, much more than the other ones I've been up for, and I know I could do it well. Of course, that's what everyone who applies says. So what makes me different, maybe that I'm willing to work for less? Maybe nothing? I'll have to wait until next week to see if I get called in for a second interview.

On another job front, I emailed about a job posting I found at an architecture firm, which apparently had been sitting up there for years. Obviously that job had been filled, but I got an email back saying they were looking for someone for a different, and infinitely more boring position. So I figured, why not? I went in for an interview today, and I got the sense that they were actually willing to hire me, and without interviewing a dozen other people. They are the first place that has asked for my references, and they did it right away. The downside is the position entails a lot of crappy mind-numbing work for the first few months, straightening out the administrative mess they've created for themselves. So if one of the other places comes through with an offer, I'll have to take it. If not, um... Hello reality.

I Am Not Alone, But It Sure Feels Like It

After seeing a couple former classmates over the weekend, I've discovered that I am not the only person floundering around the city, unable to actually get a job, and suffocating under his financial shortcomings. Unfortunately, even those who have previously been through this unnervingly frustrating stage of life quickly forget how depressing it is, so entwined are they within their weekday routine.

For many, what began as a job search for a specific position within a desired field, has expanded into desperation for just about any paying job. Personally, I expect I will be faced with decision in a couple months. Either I can [temporarily?] dash all my hopes of developing any sort of career here and take a job in retail (or something comparable), or I can pack up and leave, maybe staking out a place in the middle of nowhere, where I can afford rent with what a pay for a weeks worth of food here. And in my opinion, it's just not worth having such a high cost of living for such a low quality of life. I'm really not sure I was cut out for city living to begin with, I need my open space and grassy fields, and the park is just i quick fix.

I'm also not really satisfied with my current living situation. I have 3 roomates, yet I feel like I'm living alone, and I don't want to live alone. I like my roomates, they're all chill and they usually wash their dishes and we get along, but we're not especially good friends. I've been living with some of my best friends for the past several years, and I'm not ready to give it up for no reason. While I'm definitely down with Brooklyn, I'm not especially fond of Greenpoint. Not sure why... maybe because it's dirty and nobody speaks English. So provided I'm employed here in 2005, I'll probably be moving, hopefully with people I know.

Cross your fingers for my interview tomorrow.

The Unthinkable

So I sent in this two page response to follow up for the museum job. I doubt the guy who interviewed me will bother to read it in its entirety. But the words are there.

In other news, I have another interview at an advertising firm, so I decided to do something I've been avoiding for years. It's hard to even type it. I bought... a suit. I guess it was inevitable. I just couldn't go into this interview in my khakis and shirt; it's a business-y place. And suits are damn expensive, so I went to Sym's and bought a cheapo, but they tailor it, so at least it should fit right. Some lady sitting waiting for her husband commented about the sweater I was wearing. She said she liked how it looked, and wanted to know where I got it so she could get one for her son. But when I had this fancy suit on? Nothing. Not that I wanted her to tell me how adorable I looked, but it made me continue to be mystified by "suits." I don't think they look especially good, they restrict your movement, they're uncomfortable, and you can't really do much with a suit in terms of fashion. Accessorize with a belt and a watch? What do I look like? A yuppie?

A Light on the Horizon

I had an interview of sorts today, but I think that my follow-up will have a great deal of imapct on whether or not I get the job. It's a position at an art museum, demanding a lot of time and energy (including weekends), for low pay, and no recognition. Sounds about par for the art world. I'm supposed to send in my reaction to the collection, and come up with some ideas for programming, and all this work just to become an assistant. Let's do it.

I spent some time updating my website, so now it's flashy and has pictures. If you are morbidly curious, you can link to it through my profile. Let me know what you think.