Picky

So I’ve decided to address a question to which I have no good answer in the hopes that someone who enjoys psychoanalysis will be able to suggest an explanation. Now I’m not an especially picky person in general… I’ll eat almost anything, I can get into all sorts of music and movies, I’m usually up for any activity, and when it comes to girls, I have a broad range of personalities and appearances which I find attractive. Of course, each category has its own glaring exceptions: for example, I don’t like sweet potatoes, I find most classical music and romantic comedies painfully dull, and I rarely enjoy going to clubs. And each of these exceptions has a reasonable explanation. However, the glaring exception to my appearance/personality preference is essentially unfounded. The question is this: why don’t I like Jewish girls?

I’m not saying I’m incapable of being attracted to a Jewish girl, but (in the cases where it isn’t obvious) when I find out a girl is Jewish, she automatically falls down a few rungs on my attractiveness ladder. Clearly, the average guy would be turned off by a JAP with a Long Island accent [just the thought makes me shudder] but even your everyday nice-looking chick who happens to be Jewish just doesn’t do it for me. I initially suspected it was some sort of rebellion against my heritage or whatever, and that I was forced to go to hebrew school through the third grade, but I like to think it has been long enough that I wouldn’t still hold a grudge. However, I won’t dispute claims that I haven’t matured much since age nine. One good theory is that I’m worried I’ll have to act Jewish again, which would suck. I’m not going to open up the big-ass can of worms and start talking about my religious beliefs (or lack thereof) and why Judaism doesn’t agree with them, but let’s just say I was pretty much finished with the religion in elementary school.

Given all this backstory, is there any justification for my discrimination against my own race? I’m not sure. Maybe, as it turns out, Jewish chicks are just not that hot. Are there any hot female Jewish celebrities? It already sounds like an oxymoron. Well, I hope this post has been entertaining, as always… though perhaps not as entertaining as Nancy Drew’s “killer rack” [see the post below…]

Giving Back and Giving Up

I realize that for the most part my posts have been self-indulgent rants providing little entertainment to my few faithful readers. So I’m going to start giving back to the community. Read this and pee your pants, then leave a comment saying that I am your daddy.

Hardy Boys

Concreteness

So I think I've figured out my frustrations with contemporary aesthetics: I've been living in NYC, and specifically working in Midtown, which is predominated by modernist buildings. And frankly, I'm kind of sick of being surrounded by a linear forest of steel and glass. I've kind of fallen for the Grace building, which I pass by on my walk between work and the subway [it's 42nd across from Bryant Park], which was built in the 70's, just after the Modernist era, but has a gentle arc to its façade, as if the entire structure were made of a viscous medium slowly spilling down. It also has this really attractive pale color, and the word "GRACE" appears enigmatically above the Avenue of the Americas entrance. I was really captivated by the "GRACE" until I did some Googling and found out that it is the name of the chemical company that originally occupied the building. I prefer my ignorance when I thought it was some sort of heavenly gate in the middle of all of these ugly financial megacenters [the buildings surrounding it house companies like Verizon, (soon-to-be) Bank of America, and the Wall Street Journal, which, ironically, is nowhere near Wall Street.]

While at this point, it's probably redundant (and not to mention ridiculous) to walk around shouting, "Ugly!" at all the gross skyscrapers [*cough* Verizon], I think I've made some progress. Damn straight lines. Having found one demonstrated solution to my proposed merger of modernism and biomorphism [constructing with both lines and arc], I have a concrete (no pun intended) example to provide.

--thoughts interrupted... to be continued--