Rubik's Cube Party

The successor to the 'Stache Bash goes down this Saturday, 12/2. Here's what the invitation says:

A brief glimpse at American history...

1980 - The Rubik's Cube was conceived and released to the public
1981-1982 - [Many of] You and I were conceived and released to the public

These two events have drastically altered the course of human history. Whether they did so for the better or the worse is a matter for debate. But in either case, it is a cause for celebration, which is why I'm hosting the Rubik's Cube Party.

As you know, the Rubik's cube has six sides and six corresponding colors: BLUE, GREEN, RED, ORANGE, YELLOW, AND WHITE. Unless religous obligations mandate a monochromatic wardrobe, I expect you have some clothes in these colors. You should try to wear as many items of clothing in as many different colors as possible, in effort to vaguely mimic the appearance of one side of an unsolved Rubik's cube. Your goal will be to leave the party wearing only one of the aforementioned colors, thereby solving the puzzle. To achieve this goal, you will be expected to exchange items of clothing with other guests. As with a real Rubik's cube, this is a puzzle of strategy. Negotiations (often involving alcohol) are likely to take place, along with the inevitable underhanded tactics and coercion normally practiced only by the ballsiest politicians.

Preparation for this party is comprised of three steps, which is why I'm annoucing this so far in advance. STEP 1: Assemble your outfit. Good places to start are your (or your acquaitences') closet, the Salvation Army, vintage clothing stores, K-Mart, etc. STEP 2 [optional]: Label any items of clothing which you hope to get back with your name (and if you're feeling gutsy, your number.) I will faciliate with returning clothes to their rightful owners. STEP 3: Find yourself a Rubik's cube and practice every day for 2-3 hours. This step is crucial in ensuring your success.Donations in the form of beer, liquor, and friends are encouraged. Preferably fun people. I hope to surpass the 'Stache Bash in size, level of intoxication, and legendariness. If that's not a word, it should be.

Here's what the follow-up email I wrote today says:

Hey Cubers,

A couple things... just a reminder that the madness ensues this Saturday evening. If you plan on attending, please tell me so I know how much furniture needs to be removed from my apartment to accommodate everyone.

Also, it has come to my attention that this invite has been passed around like a spliff at a Phish concert. So please use discretion from now on when inviting other people. I love you guys, but if everyone brings the cousin of his best-friend's co-worker's ex-wife, there just ain't gonna be enough space. I had no idea people would be so into this whole Rubik's idea.

If, for some odd reason, you think you're above the wearing-random-colors-and-swapping-clothes thing, and you just plan on showing up for free booze and and eye candy, be prepared for heavy derision from the participating masses.

Finally, much like the Homeland Security threat level, I am raising the status from "Welcome" to "Strongly Encouraged" for donations in the form of drinks, food or $5, especially from the cousin of your best-friend's co-worker's ex-wife. See you in your colors on Saturday.