Better Suited Elsewhere

My interview today was located at a dance studio, which I thought was strange, even though this business deals with dance competitions. I'm not clear on the relationship between the studio and the business, but I showed up to this surreal scene where the hallways where packed with scantily clad teen girls. The room I was told to go to was a tiny rehearsal room with mirrored walls. I showed up about 20 minutes early, and managed to beat my interviewer who was scheduled to interview a couple of women before me. That pair showed up late, so I went first. [How can one honestly expect to be hired when he shows up to his interview late?] I had applied to do sound, so the interview started out aimed at my interest and abilities in mixing and DJing. Then I found out he only needed backups for sound, which sort of irked me. As the interview progressed, my theater experience came up, and he mentioned they did need a stage manager. So then he sort of re-interviewed me for that position. I think I nailed it. I was brandishing my creative flair, and this guy was eating it up. He gave me a scenario and asked me how I would handle it. After I explained the actions I would take, he said my intuitions were right on target, and he made a note on my résumé (always a good sign.)

Although the money for this job is kinda crappy, it sounds like fun. This business basically tours dance competitions, so their team travels to random places on the weekends to put together shows. Like any theater job, there isn't much sleep, but I've done that before. I'm supposed to hear back next week...

Unless you are unemployed like me, you're probably wondering what one does with all this free time. I could be out doing all these exciting things, but as it turns out, I can't afford to do anything. I've definitely gotten better at crossword puzzles, although the ones in the Metro and amNewYork don't pose much of a challenge. I'm also improving my handstand.

"What a senseless waste of human life."

You're Telling Me!

Well, I still haven't heard back from any of the interviews I had last week. I keep expecting my phone to ring, but it just sits there, all smug and shiny, mocking me with its refusal to put me in touch with all these people who are trying to hire me.

I met with another gallery owner today; our families are old friends. He tried so hard to be helpful. He gave me suggestions for job listings, looked over my resume and sample cover letter, talked to some of his assistants, and named some people to contact. What did I learn? We discovered that I was doing absolutely nothing wrong. My resume is impressive and attractively formatted. My cover letter, which at first seemed a bit lengthy, says exactly the right things in just the right amount of words. I've been consulting the proper sources for finding out about openings, and I've been making good contacts and creating a solid network of connected people. For the past several months, I have been doing nothing wrong! He also wanted to make sure I didn't end up at some tacky low-level gallery, so I should get in touch with him about any offers I get. It seems I'm a fluke who is somehow slipping through the system: a qualified candidate who for a variety of different bizarre reasons, cannot get hired.

Now I can say, without fear of being called paranoid, that the world is out to get me. Ha! My applications are getting lost in the mail. My resume was in the pile of the best applicants, but someone spilled coffee all over it, so it was simply thrown out. I was about to be hired, but then they got an applicant who spoke seven languages, could simultaneously type and make photocopies, and was childhood friends with the director. Somehow I keep managing to get myself into situations where I should be winning by a landslide, but in some ironic twist of fate, I end up a loser. I have just one concluding remark: GRRRR!

5 Days, 5 Interviews

As the interviewing madness draws to a close, we pause to reflect on the people we've met and the impressions we've made. Since I'm sure you are all dying to know how things went, I shall provide a list of the places I interviewed, the position I was applying for, and my feelings towards the job and the interview.

#1 - A Youth Center in Red Hook - Video Instructor - [I mentioned this one in the last post] The big problem with this job is that it is only part-time (3 days per week/6 hours per day) Although I'm more interested in this type of work than the other jobs I've been interviewing for, I'm also the least qualified. I got the feeling they were looking for someone with some experience in instruction.

#2 - An Freelance Photographer - Assistant - This one sounded pretty cool at first. The assistant handles the day-to-day organization, but also travels with the photographer to help out on shoots. But the pay is a joke, $300 per week, and the work week is about 45 hours on paper, which does not include work on shoots the fall outside of those hours including weekends. I was asked something along the lines of "Is photography your ultimate destination in life?" and I responded with something along the lines of "I have no fuckin idea." The interview was essentially over at this point; apparently the correct answer to this question was "Yes."

#3 - A Business Conference Coordination Office - Producer - So you got the whole background story to this interview in the last post, and let me tell you the experience was no less bizarre. When I sit down with my interviewer, she tells me that she doesn't conduct a standard interview where the employer directs the discussion around the applicants experience, and how it would be applicable to the job. Instead, she tells me I am going to be given a sort of personality assessment to see if I would fit into the role well. Fast forward through about a half-hour of me struggling to bullshit my way through her ridiculous questions. Then she tells me that this was only the first in a series of interviews if I decide to pursue the position, and the next step would be a project I would have to complete. I really haven't decided whether or not to move on with the process, I don't really like the sound of the job. Oh, and apparently you aren't allowed to ask about the salary during an interview, although in every other interview, people have been very up front about the pay.

#4 - An Art Gallery - Assistant/Intern - First I spent twenty minutes actually getting to the gallery from the first floor. The elevator was broken, and when I took the stairs, the door was locked. After climbing up and down the stairs a few times trying to find someone who knew what was going on, the elevator started working. When I get inside, I'm really confused because the gallery has no signs of life whatsoever. Then the owner emerges from his office, which I hadn't noticed. During the interview I learn that he is the only person working currently, which is why he needs a full-time assistant to basically be responsible for the entire operation of the gallery. He spoke like an artist, which is really difficult to deal with during a job interview. I also had to get up and ad-lib about some of the work currently showing, pretending to "show" these drawings to an imaginary potential buyer. The strangest part of all was that this owner had trouble understanding that I would have no conflict at all simultaneously being an artist, and having to work at a gallery for other artists. The interview went pretty well, but it's another wait-and-see.

#5 - Rebecca's Law Firm - Legal Assistant - This turned out to be a series of interviews, one long introductory one with the person who does most of the initial interviewing, and then three shorter ones with various people with whom I'd be working. I don't think there's a whole lot to say here. Everyone know what a Paralegal does, and how many hours they work. The interviews were mostly of the informative bent, and everyone pretty much just wanted to make sure I would be comfortable staying late all the time. They are looking to hire someone really quickly, so I should hear back early next week.

I just wrote thank you notes to all the people I met with at the law firm, so I'm sort of sick of typing. Maybe I'll come back later with "Final Thoughts" for this episode. And now a word from our sponsor.

Progress... ish

Things seem to be moving in the right direction now. With January half gone, the official application count for this month hovers somewhere around thirty. I have no idea how I managed to maintain sanity while pumping out that many bullshit cover letters. Regardless, I just had an interview, and have two more next week. However. I cannot say I'm especially excited about these opportunities. though my cover letters state differently.

Yesterday's interview was for a position teaching teens digital video and photography in Red Hook. Even though this is far from ideal in terms of hours and location, I figured I would give it a shot. I was surprised at how challenging the interview was. I was drilled by two people, and although I think I held up fairly well, I anticipate (and secretly hope) that I'm not really what they are looking for. But they told me they would probably be interested in having me come in as a "consultant" because of some of my lesson ideas and creative background.

Interview number two has a rather bizarre story behind it. I sent out an application to some random business looking for Marketing Assistants on Craiglist at about 6:02pm. I think I just copy-and-pasted a cover letter from some similar posting. At 6:08pm, my phone rings, and it's from the place I had just e-mailed. Apparently some keyword from my cover letter caught the attention of the recruiter for a different position. She suggested I was overqualified for a Marketing Assistant position, and that I would be better suited as a Producer. [How I could be overqualified for anything at this point is beyond me.] So I am thinking this is some kind of gimmick because nobody calls back five minutes later. [Do you call the girl who gave you her number right when you get home? Hell no, you wait the requisite three days, and then call. Standard operating procedure.] So I was slightly standoffish at first with the recruiter, but she knew Williams, and gave me her contact info and the job description, and told me to get back to her the next day. [Ok, so she calls me five minutes after getting my application. Now she's playing hard to get? Jeez.] I decide to call her in the afternoon, because two can play at being coy. But at noon I get an e-mail form her saying she is assuming I'm not interested because I haven't called her yet. [What do you want from me?] So I call right away and set up an interview. I am interested to see what unfolds at the interview, so stay tuned for that story on Tuesday.

Lastly, I got a call from one of the many galleries I applied to, asking me to come in for an interview. I had to pretend I knew what was going on when speaking with this gallery, because I had applied to so many, I had no clue which gallery this was (apart from the name,) and for which job I had applied. After looking this information up, the job posting is for a Gallery Assistant/Intern. From my experience, these two areas are usually kept separate. Assistants are paid; interns are not. Assistants do relatively mindless tasks; interns' tasks approach menial labor. The salary is listed as "Commensurate with Experience" but they obviously aren't going to hire someone with experience to do mindless tasks, and be forced to pay them above entry level. This means I probably couldn't afford to live on the salary for this position. So this will be another situation where I will have to wait until the interview to have my questions answered.

Don't touch that dial, the exciting conclusion to "Hire Me, Dammit!" is coming up next.

UPDATE: Another interview in the lineup. I just got a call from a Photo Studio I applied to for an Assistant position. This one goes down tomorrow morning. I have to bring in some of my work. Oh snap!

The Résumé Barrage Continues

I've sent out somewhere in the range of 15-20 résumés so far this month. And it's not as if these are just random places I want to work, these are places actually looking to hire someone. If these places didn't accept applications via e-mail, I probably couldn't afford all that bond paper and ink for printing out cover letters and résumés, not to mention postage. I often wonder if someone actually looks at my résumé when I send it in. Some of these places get so many, I find it hard to imagine they look at all of them.

Other progress: I arranged to meet with the director of a big time New York gallery, who is apparently a distant relative. When I went in, it was quickly established that she had no openings herself (Where have I heard that before?) but would be willing to get in touch with some people on my behalf. I was skeptical, but then she actually took some notes about me and my interests, and wrote down a few people to call. She's definitely the caliber of person that could help me, but we'll have to wait and see what comes of it.

I also went in for the follow-up interview at the photography firm, for which I had to pester the contact several times before I was able to set up an appointment. I tried my best to seem confident and not apprehensive, but this woman talks a lot, and I figured interrupting my interviewer would probably not be a good tactic. So I sort of mentally compiled my responses to her points, and when she was about to thank me for coming in, I jumped in and gave her my views. It was more like a debate with a statement and rebuttal than an interview, but I think I did well. Regardless, she won't be conducting second interviews until the end of the month, so nothing will be solidifying there for a while.

I'm not going to do one of my usual blog-post-concluding rants because I'm feeling relatively relaxed, and doing that generally gets me agitated and depressed. So I will digress, and give you some movie advice for the ones I've seen recently. See "The Life Aquatic". Do not see "House of Flying Daggers". The former is hilarious and touching, the latter, annoyingly melodramatic and awkwardly hyper-stylized. I know you are reading this, so leave comments.

New Year, No Prospects

Happy 2005. It is officially no longer the year I graduated. After my visits to various places in Massachusetts, I've returned to my depressing life. Only now it's slightly more depressing because my internship has ended, and I have more time to sit around worrying about getting a job. And I really enjoyed spending time at home, and especially with some old friends. I didn't feel so alone, but a couple days back here and it's misery. So come hang out with me.

The architecture firm that seemed so interested in me a few weeks ago has changed its mind, and is now re-listing the job as a temporary position and interviewing candidates with more administrative experience. Translation: I didn't get the job. What a surprise. So I'm going to give my second interview (which should be happening this week) everything I've got.

Honestly, I'm about to give up. I don't want to do this anymore. I hate writing these trite, transparent cover letters containing bullshit about how well qualified I am for any given position. I hate having my emotions toyed with by potential employers who want to keep me on a leash without committing. I hate prostituting myself during interviews, smiling and nodding, playing the part of the ideal candidate. And I hate these places that don't even bother to call me to say they've decided to hire someone else, leaving it up to me to call and thoroughly embarrass myself by being told I'm not good enough. It's demeaning, and I'm sick of it.

I'm also terribly irked by the people telling me they are jealous of me: jealous that I had the balls to move to a new place without assurance of employment, jealous that I decided to tackle the real world, jealous that I'm young and I can do anything I want. These are not reasons to be jealous of me, because these are the conditions that are making my life miserable right now. I can understand people who are jealous of me because I had a top-notch education, because I have a supportive family, or because I can afford to eat. Don't try to cast a positive light on these conditions which I am trying to change, just help me change them.