Picky

So I’ve decided to address a question to which I have no good answer in the hopes that someone who enjoys psychoanalysis will be able to suggest an explanation. Now I’m not an especially picky person in general… I’ll eat almost anything, I can get into all sorts of music and movies, I’m usually up for any activity, and when it comes to girls, I have a broad range of personalities and appearances which I find attractive. Of course, each category has its own glaring exceptions: for example, I don’t like sweet potatoes, I find most classical music and romantic comedies painfully dull, and I rarely enjoy going to clubs. And each of these exceptions has a reasonable explanation. However, the glaring exception to my appearance/personality preference is essentially unfounded. The question is this: why don’t I like Jewish girls?

I’m not saying I’m incapable of being attracted to a Jewish girl, but (in the cases where it isn’t obvious) when I find out a girl is Jewish, she automatically falls down a few rungs on my attractiveness ladder. Clearly, the average guy would be turned off by a JAP with a Long Island accent [just the thought makes me shudder] but even your everyday nice-looking chick who happens to be Jewish just doesn’t do it for me. I initially suspected it was some sort of rebellion against my heritage or whatever, and that I was forced to go to hebrew school through the third grade, but I like to think it has been long enough that I wouldn’t still hold a grudge. However, I won’t dispute claims that I haven’t matured much since age nine. One good theory is that I’m worried I’ll have to act Jewish again, which would suck. I’m not going to open up the big-ass can of worms and start talking about my religious beliefs (or lack thereof) and why Judaism doesn’t agree with them, but let’s just say I was pretty much finished with the religion in elementary school.

Given all this backstory, is there any justification for my discrimination against my own race? I’m not sure. Maybe, as it turns out, Jewish chicks are just not that hot. Are there any hot female Jewish celebrities? It already sounds like an oxymoron. Well, I hope this post has been entertaining, as always… though perhaps not as entertaining as Nancy Drew’s “killer rack” [see the post below…]