Praised Be Hot Girls
I just wanted to say thanks to all the hot girls out there. I know we've had our disagreements in the past... I may have said some terrible things, and I won't dredge up any bad memories by repeating them, but I want you to know that they didn't reflect my true feelings. You rock.
When people ask what my "type" is when it comes to girls? Hot. What do I look for in girls? Hotness. Describe my ideal woman? A balanced hotfest.
First and foremost, you're fun to look at. Thanks for that. I'm all about fun. Hot girls might not always be fun, but they're always fun to look at. No need to worry, though. I don't stare.
Also, thanks for talking to me when I'm drunk. For some reason when I'm tipsy, I suddenly get the notion that I'm a pimp, that I'm devastatingly attractive, and that women dig me. I may consciously blather about incoherent nonsense, but you humor me, and don't tell on me.
Next, thanks for getting me in to places I'd otherwise have to wait in line for. I may not look like much to the dude manning the velvet rope, and he's gonna send me to the back of the line regardless of the caliber of any male compatriots I may have with me. But if I have a hot girl on either side, even if our relationships are purely professional, I get in. and get to look at all the other hot girls that got in because they are hot, and they are girls. And the hot guys who got in only because they were accompanied by hot girls. [This actually really pisses me off, and I'll probably post about the inequities of going out, but it's all good with the hot girls.]
Actually, thanks in general for making me look better. There is no single better accessory than a hot girl. Forget the designer clothes, the trendy haircut, and the sense of humor... just grab yourself a hot girl, and you're set.
I know I will likely have an experience in the near future, which will again have me saying nasty things about you, but please don't take them the wrong way. You might think we have a love/hate relationship, but it's really just a love you/hate myself relationship. I'm my own best psychotherapist.
You might think me shallow for devoting so many words to looks alone, and although you'd be wrong, if you're a hot girl, everyone is going to agree with you anyway, so I won't bother arguing.
When people ask what my "type" is when it comes to girls? Hot. What do I look for in girls? Hotness. Describe my ideal woman? A balanced hotfest.
First and foremost, you're fun to look at. Thanks for that. I'm all about fun. Hot girls might not always be fun, but they're always fun to look at. No need to worry, though. I don't stare.
Also, thanks for talking to me when I'm drunk. For some reason when I'm tipsy, I suddenly get the notion that I'm a pimp, that I'm devastatingly attractive, and that women dig me. I may consciously blather about incoherent nonsense, but you humor me, and don't tell on me.
Next, thanks for getting me in to places I'd otherwise have to wait in line for. I may not look like much to the dude manning the velvet rope, and he's gonna send me to the back of the line regardless of the caliber of any male compatriots I may have with me. But if I have a hot girl on either side, even if our relationships are purely professional, I get in. and get to look at all the other hot girls that got in because they are hot, and they are girls. And the hot guys who got in only because they were accompanied by hot girls. [This actually really pisses me off, and I'll probably post about the inequities of going out, but it's all good with the hot girls.]
Actually, thanks in general for making me look better. There is no single better accessory than a hot girl. Forget the designer clothes, the trendy haircut, and the sense of humor... just grab yourself a hot girl, and you're set.
I know I will likely have an experience in the near future, which will again have me saying nasty things about you, but please don't take them the wrong way. You might think we have a love/hate relationship, but it's really just a love you/hate myself relationship. I'm my own best psychotherapist.
You might think me shallow for devoting so many words to looks alone, and although you'd be wrong, if you're a hot girl, everyone is going to agree with you anyway, so I won't bother arguing.
posted by jaggd at
17:21
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